Wit 'n' wisdom - 27 March 2012

His patient’s opening salve was: “I can’t work, Doc. I’ve lost my memory. I think I should be on a pension. I did a test on myself at home and hid something from myself. It took me five hours to find it again.”

Quick as ever, Dr Mac replied: “There’s only one snag – you’ve remembered all about it for long enough to tell me.”

As part of a pre-work medical, Dr Mac asks patients to “duckwalk” as a test for their ankles, knees, hips and balance. Too many groans or a fall and they’re out. Asked first if he knew what to do, one confident recruit replied “yeah, mate” and proceeded to walk pigeon-toed across the room. Ducks, pigeons – he was on the right track.

Finally, a patient recently whiplashed her neck on her way to work when hit from behind at a red light. Her husband explained: “It’s interfering with her work for me – she can’t lift