The late Professor Terry Bolin, a gastroenterologist and former president of the GUT Foundation, once revealed that people — men and women equally — pass flatus on average 14 times a day.

This is all well and good, but from the very beginning of our marriage, my wife let it be known that there was a time and a place for everything — and the marital bed was no place for farting.

With the passage of time, and flatus, I thought she would change her views.

You see, while not farting in bed is commendable in principle, it is an injunction to which adherence is possible only while young.