I have been collecting stories of disastrous deliveries for first-time mothers.

Prima-gravidas are often lulled into images of the most idyllic welcome of their little ones into this world: visions of infants emerging from the womb into a warm bath, or strong, determined women harnessing their powers to bring forth life without any medical interventions.

But these lovely notions create expectations that, more often than not, fail to eventuate. The reality of delivery is often anything but a smooth passage.

Things do not go according to plan.