Wit'n'wisdom 2 May 2011

IN Victoria we have a chain of shops called NQR, which sells excess or discontinued stock at bargain prices. Stuff that’s ‘Not Quite Right’. This week’s column is dedicated to those NQR comments we see or hear every day. 

To kick it off, I saw an NQR in the past history of a new patient. His file claimed he had “asbestos-related plural disease”. While it could be correct, meaning he had more than one asbestos plaque, my colleague probably meant pleural.

Dr Martin Kroslak of Rockdale, NSW, was seeing a middle-aged man who was born in the Himalayas. The patient opened with: “Hello, Doctor, I would like a blood test for everything.” 

“Uh huh, is there anything wrong with you?” asked the doctor.

“No, I just want to know my sugar, my cholesterol, my uric acid…”

The doctor picked up on this: “Your uric acid? Do you have a problem with gout?