Wit 'n' wisdom 20 September 2011

W’N’W supremo Dr Michelle Kelso of Broadmeadow, NSW, has been saving a few for us. With all the publicity about mums dolling up their five-year-olds and having them compete, she thought maybe some psychiatrist had given it a label – Pageant’s disease. But no, it was just one of her elderly patients confusing the name of her bone disorder. 

Another old dear told the good doctor she had her name down for “counter­act surgery”. Dr Kelso is sure her patient will see her way clearer once she has her cataracts removed. 

Then there was a young man who thought it was time to stop monkeying around with cigarettes and asked for “Chimpix”. Hopefully Champix will break his addiction. 

Given the chronic overcrowding in the local hospital, it is not uncommon for patients to spend hours in ED only to progress to a corridor due to a lack of beds. 

So when a discharge letter stated